Maybe

Don't talk about sex, boo. Don't.

Because he'll think you're a dirty little slut who has nothing else in her head.


Sometimes, Boo feels like there is no other way to express herself but sexually.

Few people understand this :

Pain ripping through a body - something deeply emotional translating itself into physical pain.
Not being able to sit still because of everything that is going on inside the mind. Bones feel itchy that that part of the body just has to be physically moved.
Trembling not because of cold but because of accumulated pressure, like a container too full of air.

Boo feels this a lot but she ignores these situations most of the time. She can because she has music, she has logic, she has common sense, she has a hold on reality.

But sometimes all of what she has is not enough. Because what she has involves herself only. She needs another person to help her to deal with her situation because what she has is not enough. She's actually so scared that she needs to confirm that someone has something that she doesn't so that they can deal with it together.

Sex is the only way she knows. She would love to know more ways. She wishes she did, because she doesn't want to be so dependent on sex so much.

Today she went on her own to the concert hall and played to herself there. It rested her a little.

Last night she told someone of her need for sex. It made him angry, and he told her never to discuss it with him again. It made her so sorry that she told him.

It made her feel so dirty and bad. She felt so ashamed, like he caught her stealing something from him. She would never want to steal anything from him.

She does want him to like her and respect her and think that she's a nice person. She does want to be his friend. She needs to find a new way to express herself. She will.

She feels a bit better now. She misses Katie and still wonders about her. She wonders what was going through her mind. Why she had to do what she did. She'll never know.

Maybe Boo needs to stop thinking so much.

Maybe Boo should care less.

"I'm sorry," said Boo. She smiles genuinely although it hurts a little to do so, and gives him a peace offering and watches him smile back at her as he takes it from her. She learns that maybe if there is that (what she later learns is called understanding), she's found her new way. Maybe not with him, but he's definitely shown her the way to find it.

She thinks of how good he is and admires him from afar. She runs off at high speed, laughing, and runs into a massive metal lamp post. She falls to the ground and life flees her body instantly. It happened so fast that it almost seems as though she is still laughing - her face certainly seems like it could break into a smile very easily.

Its a good ending.